Archive for the ‘think about it’ Category

Wishing all my fellow American friends a Happy 4th of July.  I took this photo from our back patio a few days ago.  The Wasatch front can have such lovely Summer sunsets.

This was a photo we took last night from our back patio.

We are spending an uneasy 4th of July, as a forest fire burns the mountain behind our home.  Our neighbors just down the street have been evacuated.  Luckily we haven’t been and I doubt that we will be.

This is the roof our neighbors home and a photo we took from our front yard of the fire this afternoon. The photo cannot capture how truly terrifyingly large the plumes of flame and smoke are.

We are praying for calmer winds and cooler temperatures.  We pray for our neighbors whose homes are nestled against the mountainside.  Most of all we are praying for the firefighters and pilots that are in harm’s way working to save homes and keep us safe.

There is no way to be a perfect mother,

and a million ways to be a good one.

– Jill Churchill

This might just be my favorite quote on motherhood.

It’s liberating to ponder it.

How many nights have I lain in bed at night, before falling asleep, and thought about my kids?  Worried about how they are doing.  Worried that I’m not doing a good enough job parenting them.

Am I horrible for letting my 10 year old girls watch Downton Abbey?  Or my son play video games?  Am I a bad mother because I can’t seem to follow through with job charts?  I feel guilty, guilty, guilty for yelling at my girls for messing around when they are supposed to be weeding.  Am I dropping the ball because my kids are way less scheduled than a lot of their friends?  It’s a conscious decision, but I worry.  Are we disadvantaging them in a competitive society?  Will it hurt their chances to get into college?  Am I teaching my kids all that they need to know to live happy, productive, spiritual lives.  The questions and second guessing go on and on…

One thing is for sure.  The weight of motherhood is great.  One thing is also for sure, Jill Churchill is right, there is no way to be a perfect mother.

I’m too hard on my kids sometimes, I’m not consistent enough, I say hell in front of them occasionally ; ), I get frustrated with them.

But I do try really hard to be wise and thoughtful too.  I love to spend time with with my kids.  I may not be very good at some parts of motherhood, but I’m great at others. I love my kids more than words could possibly express.  Most days, I’m doing my best.  No matter how my kids turn out, no matter what the future holds, at least I will know that.

I need to not compare myself to other moms.  I need to focus on my strengths.  I need to work on my weaknesses.  I need to not feel guilty.  I need to focus on each of my children and their individual and unique needs.  Some people say it’s the world’s hardest job… that’s not an argument I care to weigh in on.  What I do know is that it’s my most important job.  Little by little, challenge by challenge, I need to find my own way to be a good mother.