For Mother’s Day
There is no way to be a perfect mother,
and a million ways to be a good one.
– Jill Churchill
This might just be my favorite quote on motherhood.
It’s liberating to ponder it.
How many nights have I lain in bed at night, before falling asleep, and thought about my kids? Worried about how they are doing. Worried that I’m not doing a good enough job parenting them.
Am I horrible for letting my 10 year old girls watch Downton Abbey? Or my son play video games? Am I a bad mother because I can’t seem to follow through with job charts? I feel guilty, guilty, guilty for yelling at my girls for messing around when they are supposed to be weeding. Am I dropping the ball because my kids are way less scheduled than a lot of their friends? It’s a conscious decision, but I worry. Are we disadvantaging them in a competitive society? Will it hurt their chances to get into college? Am I teaching my kids all that they need to know to live happy, productive, spiritual lives. The questions and second guessing go on and on…
One thing is for sure. The weight of motherhood is great. One thing is also for sure, Jill Churchill is right, there is no way to be a perfect mother.
I’m too hard on my kids sometimes, I’m not consistent enough, I say hell in front of them occasionally ; ), I get frustrated with them.
But I do try really hard to be wise and thoughtful too. I love to spend time with with my kids. I may not be very good at some parts of motherhood, but I’m great at others. I love my kids more than words could possibly express. Most days, I’m doing my best. No matter how my kids turn out, no matter what the future holds, at least I will know that.
I need to not compare myself to other moms. I need to focus on my strengths. I need to work on my weaknesses. I need to not feel guilty. I need to focus on each of my children and their individual and unique needs. Some people say it’s the world’s hardest job… that’s not an argument I care to weigh in on. What I do know is that it’s my most important job. Little by little, challenge by challenge, I need to find my own way to be a good mother.
I love that quote. Thanks for sharing. Motherhood guilt is a terribly pervasive things…there’s no way around it I guess. Even as I write this my 4 month old son is crying in his crib and I’m turning down the monitor so I can have a 5 second break and eat a little lunch…guilt…indeed.
Wonderful post. It’s very nice to hear you share your honest and beautiful moments with your children~ whether or not it sounds right, or looks right, I find it best to just go with what feels right. That’s how I’m able to still extract a lot of joy out of the whole experience. I also like this quote from Jennifer Garner: “I believe every mom is doing the best job she can.”
Such a wonderful quote..and such a thoughtful post. I think as mothers we worry so much because we put our hearts into every decision. Looking back…of course there are things I might have been able to do better…but I really do agree that at every stage I honestly tried to do my best…and that will have to be enough!
PS…I got your amazing block in the mail…thank you!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! My husband and I tried for years to have kids and Mother’s day turned into a dreaded day for me. Now we have 1 awesome teenager and 1 who is trying so hard to be a teen but still has a few years to go. We homeschool and I wonder daily if everything I do is enough. I sure am depending on God to fill in the gaps! Have a wonderful Mother’s day!
Thanks for this post. I have a one-and-a-half year old son and a second child on the way. Some moments are already so trying, and it will only get harder. Egads! The Jill Churchill quote made me feel much better. After all, the vast majority of our moments are really very good. I’ll focus on those, and take the new challenges one day at a time.
Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Thank you for the quote and the post. I think we all feel the way that you do! We are so hard on ourselves as mothers. I can honestly say, that you are an incredible mother! You do so many amazing things with your kids and they have had so many wonderful opportunities to learn and do things because you take time for and teach them! You are a great example to me and to everyone!!! Happy Mother’s Day!!!